Mar 25 2022

What Does It Mean to Be In Love, Anyway?

What Does It Mean to Be In Love, Anyway?

If you've read any of Fisher's work or watched her TED Talks (highly rec, BTW), you'll find that she's called love "life's greatest prize," and it's true. Even those who have suffered greatly at the hands of love will still go running back toward the opportunity to love again if they find someone who triggers their brain, Mount Abu Escort Service, tickles their fancy or makes their stomach feel like a butterfly pavilion.

But because everyone loves differently and love means different things to different people, there's no one way to define what it means to be in love — just like there's no set timeline of how long it takes to fall in love or magic formula to tell you with whom you'll fall in love. (Related: How to Manifest Love — and the Kind You Deserve)

"Love will vary from one person to another, as well as one culture to another," says Fisher. "It could mean, for some, that they feel safe, that they have a responsibility, that they're financially secure, or they fit into a certain group now."

However, Fisher does point out that there are a few fundamental traits when it comes to romantic love. For example, the person you're in love with takes on a special meaning, and everything about them is special. From the car they drive, the place they live, the music they listen to, and so on down the list, all these things about them are special, and you focus on this person, this love of yours, more than anything else. (Also worth reading: Do You Have Relationship Separation Anxiety?)

"In the brain scanner, when those in relationships were asked about what they didn't like about their sweetheart, they could list those things, but they swept that aside and focused solely on what they did like about them," says Fisher. "It's positive illusions; the ability to overlook the negative and focus only on the positive."

When you're in love, the addiction centres in the brain become active. Sexual desire increases because dopamine drives up levels of testosterone, a hormone that plays an important role in libido. There can also be jealousy, also known as "mate guarding." There's a craving for emotional union, obsessive thinking of the person, and intense motivation to get this person to be with you as much as possible. "Love is like a fever," says Fisher. "And it's all involuntary… because of that very powerful brain system."

As Fisher has said in her TED Talks and to me when I shared my brief history of love with her: "No one gets out of love alive." When you're in love, you feel euphoric, on top of the world, and like you hit the jackpot. The brain system that's at work giving you these feelings is extraordinarily important — not only for the survival of the species (at least from an evolutionary standpoint) but also because it's a profoundly beautiful part of the human experience. To quote Dr Helen Fisher herself, "a world without love is a deadly place." I couldn't agree more.


Also Read:-